Adventures in Everyday

I’m A Hunter
July 17, 2009, 6:51 pm
Filed under: nostalgia

A Christmas Story

Twas the night before the night before the night before Christmas, and all through Boehr’s house, only one creature was stirring – and it was a mouse.

The murder weapon

Boehr barricaded himself in, locked in with the mouse, said “there’s only room for one of us in this house.”

With a twitch in his eye and a knife in his palm, Boehr searched and he hunted from dusk until dawn.

“Damn mouse! Damn mouse! I fricken hate you, damn mouse! DIE! Go to HELL! – Get out of my house!”

The mouse scampered and langered, bounded and mouse-bangerd – never comprehending the depth of Boehr’s anger.

Finally, Boehr fell silent, preparing to quit, “damn mouse, you damn mouse, you wore out my fit.”

And suddenly, on the floor, right beside Boehr’s small bed; a quiet scamper could be heard and Boehr’s fury again bled.

With a lightning quick strike, and summoning all of his might, Boehr dove off the bed and out of the light!

With ONE FLUID HACK Boehr leveled his attack directly above the spine of that damn mouse’s back.

Some twitching… and some gore; but Boehr needed more. He sawed and guffawed and DESTORYED that mouse whore.

SATISFACTION and PRIDE were his that long night, as he carried the mouse out, and tossed it into the night.

The mouse is dead!

The above poem is based on an extraordinary hunting/pest control story from Christmas 2004. Every word is true!


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I like your poems. Also, I will feel very secure in my safety from rodents while we live together.

Comment by Jennesa

Don’t forget to mouseover the images for extra words.

Comment by Boehr Himself

Sorry for being Off-Topic but what WordPress template do you use? It’s looking great!

Comment by SchnarchenBlog

Hi Schnarchen,

I use the Benevolence theme by Theron Parlin. Incidentally, it says as much at the very bottom of the page.

Comment by Boehr Himself

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